Taking One For The Team On This One....

Let me preface this by saying, if you were there and you had a camera, you would have taken a picture too. And afterward, most of you would talk about it and laugh...but I'm taking one for the team and going as far as writing about it. I will say I used to work with mentally handicapped adults, so in no way am I making fun of them here. I'm just bringing to light how they sometimes make life a little more interesting for all of us.
Yesterday morning me and the girls were on our way to visit family and friends on the Cape (for those of you not from the New England area, that means Cape Cod). I decided to go through Dunkin Donuts drive thru for a coffee. The line was a little long, and while we were waiting I noticed this lady kind of walking in circles in the parking lot next to us. Every town has them, you know as soon as you see them they a little short of a full deck. They are usually having conversations with someone that is not visible to us (as this woman seemed to be doing) and sometimes they walk differently or wave their hands around for no reason (as this woman was doing). Regardless, we usually just handle these people with kid gloves and make sure not to take offense at anything that might come our way.
So.....when it was finally my turn to pull up to the window to collect my coffee and munchkins for the girls, this woman scooted right in front of me, right up to the window. Maybe she just couldn't find the door on the other side of the building?.She began having a very animated conversation with the Dunks worker.....and I couldn't resist:
I know, I know, I'm going to burn in hell....yeah, I get that a lot. Anyway, she obviously has enough of her faculties to know she had to pay for the coffee she got, although she did make a grab for the bag of munchkins, but the worker made a quick save. I drove away smiling that this woman added a little bit of character to my day....

Quiche Me, Baby....

I'm getting brave in the cooking department now that I've passed the 40 mark! You may want to sit down for this one, and I know your first instinct will be to laugh, but I'm not joking...and your next instinct will be that I'm lying...but I'm telling the truth. I....made.....a.....quiche.......without......a recipe! Seriously...this is a person who not only needs a recipe, but normally needs to line up all the pre-measured ingredients on the counter, in the order that they need to be added...and triple check each one before adding. Check this baby out:
It's got ham and cheese and onion and garlic and ....eggs, oh yeah, lots of eggs. I used those refrigerated pie crusts and guess what? It was delicious! I can't say really what possessed me to actually act on the idea of doing this...I must have stood in front of the microwave too many times that week....

Real Wives of The Middle Class....

So it has occurred to me that almost everyone has a reality show of their own. I think I could have my own reality show and people would watch. I've always been intrigued with the "reality" shows. I remember that first season of Survivor. I watched faithfully. I don't remember which ones came next, but there was Big Brother, The Osbournes and I'm sure I'm not even remembering many of them, but once the family ones started, it seemed everyone was on board. Gene Simmons family had one, there was one with a supposedly famous punk rocker guy, but I had no idea who he was, there were/are? a couple with famous skateboarders...but the real kicker, I mean the one that made me say, OK, if they can do it, so can I...was "Tori and Dean". Tori Spelling and her husband. I suppose people watch them, as with many of them, to see how famous people live behind closed doors. I guess that's why I was watching...and because it's repeat season for CSI and Desperate Housewives and there was really NOTHING else on any of the 5000 channels we get. I mean it. Nothing. OK, maybe I was watching because I wanted to see their flaws. I wanted to know that they aren't perfect. Boy did I get what I was looking for! Why would they show her husband passing gas on national TV? I don't think we needed to go that far.
So the cameras can zoom in on my alarm clock going off at 5:15am and me hitting snooze until it's about 5:45am. Then there's plenty of action getting myself and the two girls ready and out of the house by 7:30am. There's some heartwarming yelling and screaming to get our days started! Then they could follow me to work and watch the camaraderie around the coffee maker as we all load up on caffeine to get through the day. The cameras would hardly be able to catch the dust as I ran out the door at 5pm, only to sit in traffic to get home. Evenings would be a real treat. That's when all the action happens. One night it could be running errands after dinner and arguing with the girls that they are not buying something at the store, another night it could be arguing with the girls about going to bed. Oh, and we have the garden, so people could watch us picking the veggies from our garden and then cooking the veggies. Then when the kids are finally in bed, around 9pm-ish, ok make that 10pm...the cameras could watch me doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, paying bills and finally getting to bed around midnight. I think people would watch. I think rich people would watch to feel good about themselves and laugh at what a pitiful life we have...and I think poor people would watch and end up realizing we're not so different. I don't think I could fart on TV though, sorry.

Blabbity, Blabbity, Blab....

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since my last post...I guess that was a really long moment of silence!
Anyway, I'll post more later about what I've been up to, for now, I need to vent.
I follow a few blogs that I thought were interesting. One of them is dooce.com. She used to be funny, although was a bit too disgusting at times, but overall had a funny perspective on life. Then she wrote a book and does all these speaking engagements. Then I saw her on ...either the Today show or Good Morning America. They said it was reported she made over $40K A MONTH! doing her blog! I was all...WHAT! Seriously, I can blog better than her! But then again, she hires people to make her website all fancy shmancy, etc. I still followed. Then she got pregnant. There is nothing worse than having to read every detail of someone's pregnancy AND see pictures of the progress! So I stopped following her. Every once in a while I'll take a peek at the blog to see if there is anything interesting...pictures of the perfectly decorated baby's room that most of us couldn't afford...more pictures of her getting bigger. Then she finally had the baby...thank f@#%&ng God! Things might finally get back to normal on her site. No such luck. Only worse. Now people can read about baby poop and spit up and breast feeding!
Now comes the parts that aggravated me. She was telling the story of her labor and how she had decided to have natural child birth because she read these books about home birthing, etc. She couldn't go as far as home birthing, but wanted to do the natural birth so hired a doula or something like that. Then goes on to say how wonderful it was blah, blah blah. To make things worse, there are all these comments from people saying "Oh you're so inspiring", "Thank you for sharing your story"...I'm all like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME????" MILLIONS OF WOMEN GIVE BIRTH NATURALLY ALL THE TIME AND WE DON'T HAVE TO HIRE SOMEONE TO HELP US!" I gave birth to two children without the help of drugs or anesthesia and really, it was NO BIG DEAL! I still don't understand what you have to hire someone for in this process anyway? Whatever, I got over it. So today I checked her site and she told her readers how FORBES has named her #26 on the list of 30 most influential women in media!!!! You have got to be kidding????????????!!!!!!! I guess I'm doing something wrong because that just seems wrong...UGH...let me go crawl under a rock and contemplate all of this....

Let's Have A Moment Of Silence...

Today was the public Memorial service for Michael Jackson. I know, I know, you're probably all sick of hearing about him, but let me be serious for a minute. As much as he may have seemed to turn into a freak later in his life, the guy knew music and boy did he have the moves. I, like most of us, had to work all day so I couldn't watch the two hour memorial service that was broadcast over every TV station out there. I called home and asked very nicely if someone could DVR it for me. After Mike and the girls drew straws to see who would have to walk downstairs to actually push a button, Mike called back to say it was recording. I didn't want to miss one minute. People around me at work were getting updates about it, and when it was over they said the end was a tear-jerker and I heard one say his daughter spoke. So tonight, while I sat on the couch watching the recording, I couldn't wait until the end. Guess what? Mike stopped the recording BEFORE IT ENDED!!!!! Oh yeah, missed like the last 15 minutes of it! Thank God for You Tube, right? Anyway, my thoughts on the service...Jennifer Hudson's performance and Brooke Shields eulogy were the best parts. I had to keep reminding myself that this was a memorial service, not an awards ceremony, everytime I would get tired of hearing the different Reverends summons the Almighty and the fans yelling out they love Michael.
With that being said, I have to share a thought by one of my co-workers today. Before the service was under way, a few people were talking about it and he proposed "What if this was the start of his tour? Everyone gets into the Staples Center, ready for a memorial service, and instead they have the best seats to his first concert?" I thought that would be AWESOME! No one but Michael Jackson could ever pull anything like that off...I mean to dupe all those people and then come out swinging...that would be the best comeback EVER!
Instead we will keep trying to do that moonwalk....