I am taking time out today to honor the memory of one of my very dear friends. She was one of my best friends in high school and we remained friends through college and after, although we went our separate ways. Of course once we married and had children, as with most, the daily/weekly ruts are harder to get out of and find time for your friends. So yes, we lived close by but our lives drifted in different currents.
About 4 years ago my husband and I had some scary, yet wonderfully eye-opening "life is too short" moments. We began to tell people we cared about they had made a difference in our lives. It was then I began trying to connect with my friend again. I would invite her to anything I had going on, but she was never able to come. At the time I thought she just felt to much time had passed for us to try to stir our friendship back into active duty.
As luck would have it, she and her husband moved their daughter into my children's school so I began to see her at some school functions. We didn't really get to talk, just polite chit chat. I hoped it would lead to us getting together at some point. All I really knew about her now was that she had worked at the same place forever and was successful there. In hindsight, I should have tried harder.
What I didn't know is that my friend was living a dual life. One that we will only be able to imagine held such horrors for her that she was willing to take her own life to escape them. By day she was the kind, friendly, helpful co-worker; she was the marathon runner, the cooking club originator, the PTA go getter. By night she was.....the prisoner? anguished soul? desperate mother? We will never know for sure. Only one knows for sure, and he isn't telling. Everyone touched by her memory cannot believe the woman gone forever is the same one who filled our lives with laughter and such great memories. Two years have passed and I'm still in disbelief. She was a master of disguise to most who knew her. Some day I hope her daughter will know how great a difference she made in others lives.
Miss you, Shar
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