Watch Out, Einstein!

You heard me! Move over.....uh, I can't think of any more really famous smart people but they better watch out for my 8 year old! Bethany is getting ready to enter 3rd grade and of course they do not have any formalized honors program in elementary school, however, we do have what is affectionately called "The Talented and Gifted Program". I'm not kidding, that's what it's called. Which is kind of funny b/c you don't have to possess any talent to be accepted.

There is a whole big process for this program...try to follow along people (I know it might be tough for those of us who have not been through said Program):

• You get a letter from your child's second grade teacher advising you that your child is a candidate for the program but will need to be grilled by a psychologist before being accepted into said Program. Of course this letter alone is enough to send most parents running for college applications, right? I'm not the only one, right?


• You have to send a form back saying, yes, please let me know if my child is a genius, or no, my child will not be subjected to your silly test - read "afraid of rejection". I'll make a note here that you really should try to read this note as soon as you get it, even if it's 2 weeks before school ends and you have enough papers coming home every day that you could paper the bottom of every bird cage in the state.


• Should you choose yes, once you send the form back to school (making sure to pin it to your child's forehead to make sure the teacher sees it), you should hear back from someone at the school letting you know when they will be testing your child. Another helpful note here, especially if it's close to the end of school: if you do not hear from anyone at the school regarding said grilling, do not wait until two days before school ends.


• Should you happen to wait until 2 days before the end of school, most likely you will be told your child will have to interrupt their blissful, education free time at some point and be subjected to the test. I accepted this at face value and made a note in my planner to call someone mid-July if I had not heard anything.
• Once August hits and you've forgotten to look at your planner for weeks, expect a phone call from the flaky psychologist to try to set up said testing. Of course I get a call just as Bethany has come down with mild pneumonia and we both agree that she should not be tested when she isn't feeling well. After a very long conversation with the psychologist that felt like she was never quite sure what she was talking about, she advised she would call back at the end of the week to see how Bethany was feeling.
• After no call at the end of the week and us forgetting all about the testing, my husband comes home one day the following week to a message that went something like this: "This is Lydia and I'm waiting to test Bethany! She hasn't been tested yet!" all in a very annoyed tone and of course listened to hours after it was left. I get ahold of this woman who I find out was at the school waiting for us to show up for our appointment we never knew we had...?
• Did I mention my daughter has to switch schools for this program? There are only 2 classrooms in our city for this program, neither at my daughter's school. Little Miss Pyscho has been telling me all along that Bethany will be sent to School B due to where we live - it's all decided by where you live. The Program is for 3rd and 4th grade only. Then she would have to re-join the non-Einstein kids for 5th grade, which begins middle school.
• Anywho....after refreshing psycho's memory about her calling to see how Beth was feeling and slowly getting the "oh yeah" response...and another talking in circles conversation, we set up a time for her to be tested. I should make a note here that really, read the paper as SOON as your child brings it home. Had she been tested while at school before it ended last year, we could have avoided all this....although I was becoming more amused with Little Ms Psycho.
• Bethany had no fear of the test and thought she did great....she's a trooper and takes most things in stride....certainly doesn't take after her parents! Little Miss Psycho advised she would grade Bethany's test right away and bring it to the Superintendent that day since it was so close to school starting. She gave me the gentleman's phone # and said I could call there to get the results. With my previous experience with her, I should have just ignored anything she said, but I'm a sucker like that.
• When I call the superintendent's office there is no answer or machine. Of course not, why would I expect her to have known what she is talking about! When I talk to my husband, Mike, about this he just keeps asking "And she is giving these tests?" So I again call Ms. Psycho only for her to advise she has not yet graded Bethany's test. When I remind her she advised she would grade it right away, etc., she dismisses that and just tells me probably tomorrow. I'm ready at this point to run out and buy this poor woman some sort of supplement to help memory loss....
• I call Superintendent's office the next day and am rudely told they cannot give me this information and the person who tested my child usually gives that info. I explain the psycho probably doesn't remember the grade and told me to call their office. They take my name and number and throw it away.
• Day 3: I come into work to find a message from......the Superintendent's office! I truly was surprised. So I call back and am given the wonderful news that Bethany has been accepted into said Program. Not only that but she tested at a 5th grade level for everything except Math. She tested just above 6th grade for that. He tells me she has an IQ of 140. Never having been through the said Program myself, I stupidly say, "I'm not sure what that means"....and he is thinking, "of course you don't...let me explain it s-l-o-w-l-y", but he says "I give the example of people who usually go for their Doctorate have an IQ of about 125-129." I'm thinking,"Holy Shit!"...but I say, "That's great!"
• So I immediately call Mike to tell him the good news and he says, "She gets it from you because I'm a dumbass"! Which he isn't, of course, but it's still good to hear him say it :) Then he gushes about how proud he is.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Ms. Psycho told us the wrong school as well. Bethany would not be going to school B, she will be going to school C and it's a world of difference b/c school C is not that old and still looks brand new (and actually is identical to her original school - they used the same plans) and school B is a much older (Mike went there for elementary school, just to give you an idea of how old and he is 40!) and run down.

So we all had a tour of the school she would be going to and she decided she would at least try the Program. They advised if she really didn't like it she could go back to her own school with the less talented and gifted. She is worried about missing all her friends and I don't blame her...what else do you have at this age?

I will feel utterly awful if I don't mention that our older daughter, Jamie, was also recommended for the Program when she was going into 3rd grade, but she refused to even get tested. She did perfectly fine without having gone through said Program. She just completed 5th grade where she was in the honors classroom and had straight A's and A+'s the whole year. She is 11 years old and reads more in a week than I read in a normal year. She is in the process of writing a book and has created a website with a friend. Now I'm feeling like a dumbass. When I was 11 it was all about Chinese jump rope and swimming at the local public pool.